The Briefly for August 28, 2020 – The "Indoor Dining, I Don't Know Her" Edition

Today - Low: 75˚ High: 86˚

Rain in the evening and overnight.

This weekend - Low: 65˚ High: 80˚

Try not to roll your eyes, but here's the big "New York is dead. Here's why" link. Try to prevent your eyes from rolling all the way out of your head when reading this dipshit's thinly veiled "Why I'm Leaving New York" essay. (James Altucher)

"Listening to him go, “I used to play chess all day. I could meet people. I could start any type of business.” Wipe your tears, wipe your butt and pull it together. He says he knows people who have left New York for Maine, Vermont, Tennessee, Indiana. I have been to all of these places many, many, many times over many decades. And with all due respect and affection, Are .. You .. Kidding .. Me?!"

-Jerry Seinfeld, So You Think New York Is ‘Dead’ for NY Times

The city's school will have the option to hold classes outdoors in yards, nearby streets, or parks. PTAs will be responsible for fundraising for supplies and equipment for schools to hold classes outdoors. (Alejandra O'Connell-Domenech for amNewYork Metro) "Chinatown is very traditional, almost to a fault, where we’ve let our elders take over. And we need to learn from our elders, but young people need to be making decisions now, and move Chinatown further. And seeing people like Patrick Mock start standing up and speaking out on the injustices we’ve suffered, it gives us a hope for the future." -Conversations with politicians, business owners, and locals about the future of Chinatown. (James Ramsay for Gothamist) State Attorney General Letitia James asked a judge to order Eric Trump to testify in the state's inquiry into possible fraud committed by the Trump Organization and President Trump. (William K. Rashbaum and Danny Hakim for NY Times) NYPD officer Kyle Erickson has been twice accused of planting marijuana during traffic stops on Staten Island and despite bodycam footage to prove he did it, he was cleared of any wrongdoing. Just a sample of the 4,000 pages of documents released by the Staten Island District Attorney's office about NYPD officers' dishonesty and (lack) of discipline. (George Joseph and Sydney Pereira for Gothamist) Restaurants have been closing, but not failing. An argument for why the distinction matters. (Talia Saxe for Eater) A series of bars and restaurants sued the SLA this week to roll back their recent rule change that barred live music ticketed events, and other forms of outdoor entertainment. Disclosure: The lawsuit includes Littlefield, where I was hosting trivia all summer on Wednesdays. (Ben Yakas for Gothamist) More than 20 state senators are calling on the State Liquor Authority to ease up on their restaurant and bar crackdown. Since mid-June, the SLA conducted over 41,000 checks, 165 businesses lost their liquor licenses temporarily, and 886 were charged with violations. (Luke Fortney for Eater) The City Council voted to extend the 20% commission cap on delivery fees for restaurants until 90 days after they are allowed to operate at full capacity with indoor dining. (Erika Adams for Eater) And when will indoor dining return? The mayor says that depends on how our return to schools goes on September 10. (Tanay Warerkar for Eater) Although he also hinted that 2021 was a possibility for a return to indoor dining. (Erika Adams for Eater) What's the return to schools look like? A friend of mine who's a teacher in the city told me they are getting ready to strike, but in the meantime the city has to inspect 1,700 public schools housed in 1,300 buildings by September 1 with plans to release a report on September 4. (David Cruz for Gothamist) Of the city's 1,700 schools, 1,030 of them had some kind of documented problem with air supply or exhaust components. Chalkbeat compiled the most recent inspection reports publicly available for each school. (Amy Zimmer for Chalkbeat) An additional 30,000 students opted out of any in-person classes this year, bringing the total to 337,394 students that will not step inside a school this school year. (Alejandra O'Connell-Domenech for amNewYork Metro) Photos: Reopening day at the New York Aquarium. (Rose Adams for Brooklyn Paper) This Saturday is the reimagined Coney Island Mermaid Parade. (Rose Adams for amNewYork Metro) This Sunday is the MTV Video Music Awards that Governor Cuomo announced back in June. MTV built a stage in Greenpoint instead of using the Barclay Center, citing that an outdoor event without an audience would be safer than an indoor one. Performers will be getting an exemption from the state's 14-day mandatory quarantine. (Greenpointers) According to the mayor, 20% of the city's new Cobid-19 patients are linked to travelers. (Matt Troutman for Patch) US and UK authorities are discussing an "air bridge" exemption from quarantine for travel between New York and London. (Payton Potter for Patch) With a filing for bankruptcy back in May, the future of the John Varvatos shop in the old home of CBGB might be in jeopardy. Which camp are you in when it comes to John Varvatos replacing CBGB? "At least it's not a Duane Reade" or "Who cares, let it die?" (EV Grieve) Revel's electric mopeds relaunched with new safety protocols. Not sure how I feel about sending the company a selfie of me wearing one of their helmets. (Matt Troutman for Patch) Unmown lawns, unemptied garbage cans, and littered playgrounds. Welcome to the city's parks when the city needs them the most. (Sarah Maslin Nir for NY Times) An engagement while canoeing on the Gowanus Canal: Doomed or beautiful? (Kevin Duggan for Brooklyn Paper) Do you know who makes the decision to return the subway back to 24/7 service? No, seriously, no one seems to know. The governor says to ask the MTA Chairman. The MTA Chairman says to ask the health commissioner. Can I declare the subways open 24/7 again? I hereby declare the subways open 24/7! Did it work? (Dave Colon for Streetsblog) Photos: King Nyani, the city's largest bronze gorilla statue, which can hold 2 or 3 people at once. (Michelle Young for Untapped Cities) Everything you need to know about living in a first-floor apartment. (Michele Petry for StreetEasy) Front-door boarding of city buses returns on Monday and so do fares on buses. (Benjamin Kabak for Second Ave Sagas) The Mets and Marlins walked off the field after a moment of silence for 42 seconds with a Black Lives Matter t-shirt draped over home plate. (Joe Pantorno for amNewYork Metro) The assholes of the week are "The Illmore," which has reportedly hosting secret indoor parties since June. The Illmore is, of course, in Bushwick. (Luke Fortney for Eater) Second place goes to Beavis and Butthead over here: Crime in NYC is near an all-time low, historically speaking, which is why former mayor Rudy Giuliani and current Police Benevolent Association president Pat Lynch were at the RNC calling crime in NYC a "public safety disaster." Murders in NYC in 2019 were down about 50% from Rudy Giuliani's last year in office. (Emily Ngo for NY1) Six great buffalo wings in the city. (Matt Tervooren for The Infatuation) Thanks to reader Helena for today's featured photo.